Recommendation Letter

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible. Sincerely, –Project Leader
————————————————————–
The following Memo was soon sent following “The Letter”

That stupid dolt was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the
report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read every second line
(i.e.. 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, ..) for my true assessment of him.
Regards, Derek Crabb Project Leader

A Dictionary of Useful Research Phrase

A Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases

Research Phrase

Translation

It has long been known…

I didn’t look up the original reference.

A definite trend is evident…

These data are are practically meaningless.

Of great theoretical and practical importance…

Interesting to me.

While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions…

An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study…

The results of the others didn’t make any sense.

Typical results are shown…

The best results are shown.

These results will be shown in a subsequent report…

I might get around to this sometime if I’m pushed.

The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones…

He was my graduate assistant.

It is believed that…

I think.

It is generally believed that…

A couple of other people think so too.

It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs…

I don’t understand it.

Correct within an order of magnitude…

Wrong.

It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field…

This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.

Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to George Frink for valuable discussions…

Blotz did the work and Frink explained to me what it meant.

A careful analysis of obtainable data…

Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.